I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we want the good things in our lives to last as long as possible. When we have been blessed, when we are with people that we love, when we are happy with our family or our job, we do not want any of these good things to change. Such good things energize us, comfort us, and give us joy. Now having said that, it is also true to say that life does not allow us to hold onto the good things we have forever. Life changes and we must change with it. Therefore, a fundamental skill of living is learning to say goodbye as well. 

Sister Joyce Rupp, a popular writer on spiritual life, has collected thoughts on this issue in her book Praying Our Goodbyes. She defines a goodbye as an empty space within us, something that occurs in any situation where there is a loss or incompleteness. We carry then an emptiness that cries out to be filled. Those empty places are created when we have to say goodbye to our parents, our spouse, or our friends; when we have to say goodbye to familiar surroundings or secure homes; when we change a job; when we have to adjust to a new financial reality, when we say farewell to our healthy bodies; or we change our ideas, our values, or our self-image. 

This weekend, we celebrate the Feast of the Ascension. In the Gospel (Luke 24: 46-53) the disciples had to face a major goodbye. They had to say goodbye to the physical presence of Jesus. As Jesus ascended to the Father, he promised the Spirit would be with them always. But he would no longer physically be present to them as he was in his ministry or in his glorious body after the resurrection. Life was changing and the disciples had to let go of what they once had. But even as Jesus leaves them, he also points out to the disciples a way in which they can say goodbye as well. He points it out not only for their benefit but for ours. Jesus asks them to remember the things of the past, his death and resurrection, and the proclamation of the Good News. He says to them, “You will be witnesses to all these things.” Now at first it might seem strange or counter-intuitive to point out the past as a way of dealing with Jesus’ departure. After all, remembering the past is remembering the very things we no longer have. But by asking them to witness the part Jesus is actually showing the disciples an effective way of saying goodbye well.  

Jesus asks us to remember the people and the things of the past, not so that we can lament because we no longer have them, but to remember them so that we can see that they were God’s blessings. Such a recognition leads us then to the belief that the same God who blessed us in the past will bless us again. When we can witness to God’s presence in a love of a person we once had, or in a relationship we once shared, or in our youth that we once possessed, or any gift of familiarity we once enjoyed, we remind ourselves that God’s love is real. When we witness God’s blessings, even though those gifts are no longer ours, God is still ours. By claiming God’s presence, we affirm our faith that God is prepared to lead us into the future and to lead us to goodness. Witnessing to God’s presence in our past is a way of saying goodbye to the gifts that are ending and at the same time preparing ourselves for the gifts we will be offered.  

Life changes, but God remains the same. Life changes, and therefore every person must learn to say goodbye. But Christians can say goodbye with the spirit of hope because we are witness to the good gifts of the past believing that the same God who gave us those gifts still loves us. From the perspective of faith, the other side of every Goodbye is a new Hello.